Today...

  was a bad news day. To facilitate grieving and coping, even from a distance, I want to share two links that particularly spoke to me.

First, Krista Tippett's quote and reflection  provide the groundwork for grief - embrace of the sadness followed immediately by the embrace of the community, whose net provides a sense of stability and permanence when those things otherwise gone.

Then, the quick next step for those of us who experienced today's events at a distance, I directy you to James Martin's well-researched and outraged consideration of the causes and effects of today's tragedy at Sandy Hook. Read it, get mad, take action, hug your family.

-A

Do You Believe in Miracles?

Ya'll, I'm really not feeling it today. So much family in town, so much over indulgence, and so little time to write. I'm throwing a Hail Mary pass (pun) and posting a funny Hanukkah video. Please don't leave!

-A

Hanukkah - a good time had by all

Fox News believes that Christians worry about a "war on Christmas," but the fact is that cultures around the world have always celebrated in the wintertime. That means that, regardless of your allegiance or spirituality, now is a great time to get together with people of divergent faiths than your own.

This holiday season, why not resolve to experience the mystery of God that crosses religious borders, and be inspired by the plurality and diversity of deeply faithful, spiritual people. If you join me in doing this, here is the information you need to celebrate Hanukkah.

Saturday night found the world's Jews enjoying community as the Festival of Lights, Hanukkah, began. Hanukkah commemorates a miracle that occurred in Jerusalem during the Maccabean revolt in the second century BCE. The Syrians occupied Jerusalem and began suppressing Jewish customs. During the conflict, the temple's menorah, or ritual lamp, was running out of oil.

Although it only had fuel enough for one night, the lamp burned brightly for eight nights until help could arrive.
Although this story has been a powerful symbol of Jewish identity and resilience over 22 centuries of oppression, Hanukkah was not a particularly important holiday until modern times. Jews do not abstain from work and children do not normally get out of school. It has always been a popular part of Jewish identity,
and the symbolic menorah is usually lit in a public place to share the miracle with the world.

A typical modern Hanukkah evening for an American family will include the lighting of a candle on the menorah, a unique 9-armed candelabra. Songs and psalms will be sung, simple gifts like toy dreidels or chocolate coins will be given to children, and oily foods like potato pancakes and donuts will be eaten. If you'd like to try a spin at dreidel, check out these online rules.

A good time is had by all.

Sunday Prayer

Sorry for the day off; nothing happened, really. Except for the release of a study that draws predictive parallels between the growth of brain cells, internet networks, and galaxies. As readers of the manifesto will know, I strongly feel that we network in all areas of our life and our existence, so it is gratifying and intensely interesting to see a scientific study formally investigate and recognize what religions have suspected for eons.

When the team compared the universe's history with growth of social networks and brain circuits, they found all the networks expanded in similar ways: They balanced links between similar nodes with ones that already had many connections. For instance, a cat lover surfing the Internet may visit mega-sites such as Google or Yahoo, but will also browse cat fancier websites or YouTube kitten videos. In the same way, neighboring brain cells like to connect, but neurons also link to such "Google brain cells" that are hooked up to loads of other brain cells.

Powerful, yes.  But not a beautiful quote. In the spirit of Youtube distractions, let me offer this rendition of my holiday favorite. Also, stay tuned for a piece in PolicyMic on Hannuka!

The Meal, Seriously, Eat It

One of my favorite food writers just published a review of one of the ultimate, iconic, classic restaurants in New Orleans: Galatoire's. I think he summed up why and how shared meals are an essential human ritual, worth savoring and preserving.

The holidays remind me of the joy of dining in restaurants. When we dine out we overturn bad habits of TV dinners hastily eaten, or cafeteria leftovers consumed alone for the calories. Dining out makes encourages us to really enjoy each others' company, to connect over shared food and service, in a relatively predictable environment. Alcohol lubricates all this, too. I think that restaurants provide a deeply significant social service by providing the venue in which we connect.

Galatoire's has a number of problems. After over a century of continuous service, the menu and ambiance feel dusty and tired. Foodies (from other cities) will scoff at the high-fat, traditional dishes like Filet Bearnaise or Pommes Souffle, cooking styles that are more at home in the 1950s kitchen. They are  unapologetic, old-fashioned, and unwilling to accommodate vegetarians or take reservations. They can be a real pain, in contrast to some of the newer, brighter lights in our local culinary sky.

But that's is missing the point. If you dine at Galatoire's like it is another restaurant, with a waiter and three courses in about an hour, you will have a terrible time.

What's the most significant part of this picture?
Not the bird or linen: it's the community

Galatoire's challenges us to really, really, enjoy a meal.  A meal there should last four hours, should be a big party, should involve lots of alcohol and no menus. A meal there is free-form - adult, professional waiters guide guests through various courses of fresh seafood, oysters, vegetables, meats, based on daily availability. Diners, meanwhile, allow themselves to be guided, enjoy each others' company and build momentum. A meal at Galatoire's is a celebration because they encourage guests to lower their defenses, abandon anxiety, and place themselves in the hands of a truly capable institution.

Galatoire's is famous for their holiday meals, seats for which are auctioned off every year for charity. Midnight Christmas and New Years meals might as well be block-parties, with little clear distinction between tables and families.

As we enjoy meals in our homes and favorite restaurants, I hope that we can remember the lessons of Galatoire's - leave your routine behind, enjoy your friends, and do not stress about the food (it will come in glory).

Advent, We Get Together

Today I read a lovely reflection on the Advent season by James Martin, SJ. Martin, who is the editor of the popular, slightly progressive Catholic journal America and a regular media contributor, revives the notion of Desire as a positive human - even Christian - emotion.

Advent is the name given by Christian churches to the twenty-four days leading to Christmas, ie, the whole of December. During this time special activities are planned, decorations are dusted off, and annual traditions are revived, all in the spirit of putting people in the Christmas spirit. Coincidentally, Advent starts just about the same time that radio stations play holiday tunes nonstop.

What's the point of Advent?

The point is to build the anticipation that makes Christmas such a special, harrowing, or intimidating part of the year. In Christian circles this comes in the form of language of desire, hunger, for the birth of Jesus. James Martin writes that, contrary to the popular culture of fasting, discipline, or asceticism, Christianity has a rich, deeply ingrained tradition of desire - physical and spiritual - as a holy emotion.

Remember, to share our desire we must first drop the wall of self-sufficiency and confidence that, for me at least, gets in the way of real relationships.

Last week I wrote about Brene Brown's vulnerability revival. Remember that desire is a type of vulnerability, and expressing our hunger or longing with our community is a way to help us remember how much they support us - and we support them.

For Christians this might take the form of finding ways in which Jesus plays an instrumental role in our lives, and expressing our need for that influence. That's a pretty positive, growthful, and inclusive Advent practice.

Holiday meals are really important
spiritually and anthropologically

But for the rest of us this time of year can be growthful, too. People around the world have celebrated harvest and winter festivals throughout history. As it becomes cold and dreary outside, we want to share our storehouses with each other, and each others' warm company. Snuggling is still better than a space heater, and if nature tells you to carbo-load anyway, why not bake a cake and invite friends over.

The holidays really are for all of us. This year, during Advent, we can desire each other without fear or shame, and we can give support to each other openly. Advent might even kick-start New Years resolutions to be more open, make more friends, and feel less isolated, stressed, or anxious.

Oh Come Oh Come Emmanuel!

Sunday Prayer

I can't wait to sink my teeth into Brene Brown's book, The Gifts of Imperfection. I appreciate how she contradicts the notion that love is an object that is exchanged, or which has an economy.

We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.

Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.

Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare.